With a heart full of memories, but my eyes fixed on the horizon.

Hey , wanderlusts!

Buckle up and join me on a mini journey down memory lane as I prepare for a road trip back to the city that never sleeps, New York City. It's been nearly a year since I was forced to bid farewell to the bustling streets and towering skyscrapers of the Big Apple. Returning now feels like turning the page on a chapter that has been both a rollercoaster ride and a soul-stirring adventure.

The past 12 months have taken me on a whirlwind tour of life's extremes, from the lowest of lows to the highest of highs. I've navigated the treacherous terrain of heartbreak, loss, and near-death experiences, but I've also stumbled upon the hidden treasures of resilience, strength, and the beauty of new beginnings.

It all began with an unexpected plot twist: getting kicked out of the United States. The country I had called home for almost 10 years showed me the door, leaving me with a feeling of displacement that was both bewildering and bittersweet. I didn't even get to say my goodbyes to the city I'd grown to love, it felt like the end of an era.

Then came the heart-wrenching ordeal of losing my faithful companion, my four-legged friend who had been my confidant and co-adventurer. Four long months without my furry sidekick tested my resolve and made me realize just how much a dog can shape our lives and fill our hearts.

But as they say, every cloud has a silver lining. And for me, that silver lining was the opportunity to reconnect with my roots and rediscover the charm of my home country. From exploring local cuisine to hiking in hidden trails, I experienced the beauty and diversity of my backyard in a whole new way.

As if that wasn't enough, there was the gut-wrenching breakup that shattered my world into a million pieces. Love, once the brightest star in my sky, had crumbled into dust, and I was left to pick up the fragments of my heart and rebuild myself from the ground up. It was a painful process, but it taught me the power of self-love and showed me that I am capable of rising from my ashes.

And then, in a plot twist worthy of a Hollywood blockbuster, there were the near-fatal strokes that brought me to the brink of existence. The fragility of life stared me in the face, and I found myself grappling with profound questions about mortality, purpose, and the preciousness of every moment. It was a wake-up call that made me appreciate the little things in life and remind myself to live each day to the fullest. And now, as I pack my bags for my road trip back to New York City, it feels like the end of one chapter and the start of a new book. A book filled with twists and turns, laughter and tears, love and loss, and most importantly, the unshakeable spirit of adventure.

So join me as I hit the open road and head back to the city that has been both my escape and my sanctuary. The streets may be familiar, but I am not the same person who left them a year ago. I have grown, learned, and evolved in ways I could never have imagined. And I can't wait to see what new adventures await me in the city that never sleeps. As they say, sometimes you have to lose yourself to find yourself again. And for me, this road trip back to NYC is not just a return, but a rebirth.

The best thing is that from all the despair and heartache emerged the most unexpected of heroes: Nova Scotia. This little slice of heaven on Earth became my refuge, a place where I could heal, rediscover myself, and forge new connections. Amidst its breathtaking landscapes, I found my tribe—a group of kindred spirits who celebrated my quirks and welcomed me with open arms. To top it off, I stumbled upon a wonderful weirdo who is becoming a partner-in-adventure and is filling my life with joy. Who knew that this journey back to Canada would lead me to find myself next to a like-minded person whose presence makes everything brighter?

As I gear up for this road trip, I am filled with gratitude and excitement for all that has been and all that is yet to come. Life may be unpredictable, but one thing's for sure: the adventure never ends. So here's to not just turning the page and starting a new chapter, but to saying goodbye while eagerly anticipating the next hello, and and a new book. Most importantly, to never stop the journey of self-discovery.

As I set out on this road trip back to the city that holds both memories of triumph and trials, I do so as a changed person. I've emerged from the crucible of adversity with newfound strength, wisdom, and gratitude for the beauty that life has to offer, even in its darkest moments.

This return to NYC is not merely a visit; it's the ending of that chapter in my life story. It's a chance to revisit old haunts, reconnect with cherished friends, and bid a proper fond farewell to a city that has played a pivotal role in my journey. It's also the start of a brand new book, one filled with blank pages ready to be filled with fresh experiences, lessons, and adventures.

So here's to New York City, to Nova Scotia, to my weirdo tribe, and the wild, unpredictable adventure of life.

With a heart full of memories, but my eyes fixed on the horizon.

"Effusively Mushy"

I'm lucky enough to have in my life a friend I care a lot about, and he taught me a new phrase today, "Mushy and Effusive" and it made me question; What does being effusive even mean?

Effusive people are described as warm, kind, and affectionate people. But don't be fooled, its not just sweetness, as their effusive nature can also manifest in a witty and playful manner. They are known for their ability to express themselves with an abundance of emotion, whether it be through words or actions.

Effusiveness is not just about being overly expressive, it goes beyond that. It is a way of life that embraces vulnerability and authenticity. Effusive people have a deep understanding of their own emotions and can articulate them in a way that makes others feel seen and understood.

So, in a world where self-love is often overlooked, effusive people stand out as beacons of light. Their unwavering love for themselves radiates outward, inspiring others to do the same. They understand that true self-love comes from within and they are not afraid to share their journey with others.

One of the greatest gifts effusive people possess is the ability to make others feel loved and appreciated. Their genuine compliments and heartfelt gestures can brighten up even the darkest of days. They understand that kindness and love have a ripple effect, and they are always willing to spread it wherever they go.

So when you find yourself drowning in a sea of cynicism and self-deprecation, caught in a world where sarcasm is the universal language, and self-doubt is worn like a trendy accessory, it's truly refreshing to come across people who are unabashedly mushy and effusive. These rare gems aren't just a breath of fresh air; they're a full-blown tornado of positivity and love, and they're here to remind you that you're fantastic just the way you are. So, if you're ready to embrace your inner effusive self and spread some mushy love around, so here I'll ask you to keep reading.

As I dive into the world of effusively mushy individuals, I can't help but reflect on my own journey this year. Now, I consider myself one of these souls who believe in the boundless power of love, positivity, and authenticity. It's not just about celebrating others; it's also about cherishing ourselves, flaws and all. I've learned that true self-love is the foundation on which we build meaningful connections and make the world a better place.

Effusive people are known for their ability to express their emotions with genuine passion and enthusiasm. They don't hold back when it comes to showing their appreciation and love for others, and they're not afraid to wear their hearts on their sleeves. This kind of genuine and unbridled expression is often misunderstood in our society, where being "cool" and aloof is prized above all else. But let's face it, who wouldn't want to live in a world that's overflowing with love, kindness, and positivity? Effusive people have the right idea; they know that life is too short to hold back when it comes to expressing your feelings.

Effusive people are described as "infectiously positive." Their energy and enthusiasm are contagious, and being around them can lift your mood in an instant. But, their positivity isn't just limited to making others feel good; it also has immense benefits for the effusive individuals themselves. Expressing gratitude and positive emotions can lead to increased happiness, better relationships, and improved overall well-being. So don't be afraid to let your inner effusiveness shine through; not only will you make those around you feel good, but you'll also have the pleasure of encountering more of these magical beings.

In no particular order, here are a few reasons why you should embrace the mushiness and bask in their warm, loving glow of these people;

1. They're Truth-Tellers: Contrary to what you might think, mushy and effusive folks are not just sugar-coating reality. They're the unfiltered truth-tellers you've been searching for. They won't hesitate to call you out when you're wrong, but they'll do it with a spoonful of sugar, making the medicine go down a whole lot smoother.

2. Unconditional Love: Effusive people are capable of loving others without any conditions attached. They see the good in everyone and strive to bring out the best in them. Their love is not based on what someone can offer or how they can benefit from a relationship; it's purely based on acceptance and appreciation for who you are. They're not interested in nitpicking your flaws or judging your quirks. They embrace your uniqueness and celebrate it with exuberance.

3. Authenticity: Effusive people have no time for superficial conversations or fake relationships. They value authenticity and are not afraid to show their true selves, even if it means being vulnerable at times. This nature brings depth and meaning to their relationships, making them more fulfilling and meaningful.

4. Self-Love Advocates: Mushy and effusive ones aren't just great at loving others; they're experts at loving themselves too. They know that they deserve to be in your presence, and they won't apologize for it. In a world that often encourages self-doubt, their unwavering self-love is a refreshing change of pace.

5. Emotional Badges of Honor: These people wear their emotions like badges of honor. Whether they're feeling joy, sadness, excitement, or anger, you'll know it. Their transparency is a testament to their authenticity. No guessing games or deciphering hidden meanings; you always know where you stand.

6. Deep, Honest Love: When they love, they do so deeply, freely, and openly. There's no room for half-heartedness in their affection. They're not afraid to say "I love you" and to express their admiration openly. Their love is like a warm, comforting blanket on a cold winter's day.

7. Cheerleaders for Life: They are their own biggest cheerleaders in life. Their confidence is contagious, and they'll cheer you on with the same enthusiasm they have for themselves. They'll remind you of your greatness, even when you momentarily forget it.

In a world where cynicism often seems like the norm, it's easy to become jaded. But the mushy and effusive among us are a reminder that there's still plenty of room for love, positivity, and genuine affection.

They show us that it's okay to be vulnerable, to love ourselves, and to wear our hearts on our sleeves. So, don't be shy about seeking out these wonderful individuals and keeping them close. After all, who wouldn't want to be surrounded by people who genuinely believe in them, express their love openly, and make life a little sweeter with their boundless enthusiasm?

Home is where the heart (and vinyl records) are.

In a world where Pinterest boards and HGTV shows dominate our notions of "home," it's easy to fall into the trap of believing that a home is just a physical space—a place defined by four walls, a roof, and a cozy couch. But let's pause for a moment and consider a more whimsical notion: that home is not merely a location, but a manifestation of our experiences. Picture it as a magnificent collage of memories, with each nook and cranny decorated by our collections acquired over the years. And the music? Well, that's the paint we use to decorate the years with a colorful, symphonic flair.

In this enchanting journey through nostalgia, we'll dive into the idea that our homes are not just made of bricks and mortar but are, in essence, a reflection of our souls. So, grab a cup of tea (or your favorite beverage), settle into your comfiest chair, and let's explore the enchanting concept of home.

Think about it. Your home is a museum of your life, filled with personal artifacts, souvenirs, and mementos that tell the story of who you are and where you've been. These collections, whether it's vintage postcards, a shelf of action figures, or a gallery of your favorite artwork, are not just dust-gathering objects; they are portals to the past, instant reminders of adventures had and dreams yet to come.

A home isn't complete without a touch of whimsy. It's the place where you can proudly display that bizarrely endearing gnome figurine you picked up at a flea market in the middle of nowhere or that shelf of sci-fi novels you've read a dozen times. These collections are the breadcrumbs of your journey, and their mere presence tells stories to anyone who cares to look and listen.

Now, let's turn up the volume a bit. Your home isn't just a silent stage for your life's story; it's a vibrant concert hall. It's where you curate the playlist of your existence. The music you choose to fill your space with becomes the invisible brushstroke on the canvas of your life.

Each song carries a memory—your first date, your first dance at your wedding, that impromptu karaoke session with friends, or the soothing melody that helped you through tough times. As you flip through your vinyl collection or scroll through your digital playlists, you're not just picking tracks; recognize you're selecting chapters from your autobiography.

Your music transforms your home into a time machine, capable of transporting you back to the carefree days of your youth, the excitement of your first solo road trip, or the quiet moments of introspection when you contemplated the mysteries of the universe or how lint got in your belly button.you unscrewd your belly button would your bum fall of?

Your home is, in essence, a symphonic hall with each note of music echoing your laughter, tears, and everything in between that has happened in your life . And just like a beautiful symphony, each piece of furniture, every painting on your walls, and all the little knick-knacks scattered throughout your space adds depth and beauty to the overall masterpiece.

In the ever-evolving canvas of my life, I'm thrilled to announce that a new chapter has begun, and my new home is now nestled in the picturesque embrace of Mahone Bay, Nova Scotia. As I walk the cozy streets lined with colorful heritage homes and view the tranquil waters that define this charming coastal town, I'm reminded once again that home is not just about the physical space, but also about the people , the community and the experiences that fill it. Mahone Bay, with its friendly faces and welcoming spirit, has quickly become a part of my heart's collection of cherished memories. Here, I look forward to creating new stories, exploring new love, new horizons and of course, adding a few more vinyl records to my tiny collection. So, as we continue this journey together, Mahone Bay, you are now an essential thread in the tapestry of my life's adventure, and I can't wait to see how you'll color my days and nights with your unique beauty and charm. Welcome to my new home, and welcome to the next exciting chapter in this symphony.

So, when you think about home next time, remember that it's more than just a place; it's a canvas where your life's story comes alive through music, memories, and meaning. And as you continue to curate your unique space with

So, as you sit in your cozy nook, surrounded by the remnants of your adventures and the melodies of your soul, remember that home isn't confined to four walls. It's a living, breathing, ever-evolving work of art—a masterpiece of memories and a symphony of songs. It's where you can lose yourself in the stories of your past, dream about your future, and savor every moment of the present.

Embrace the idea that your home is more than just a physical space; it's a manifestation of your experiences, decorated with the treasures you've collected over the years and the music that has painted the soundtrack of your life. So, go ahead, crank up the volume, dust off that old record player, and let your home sing the story of you.

"My Name is Prince (Not Chris): A Journey of Self-Confidence"

Have you ever misheard the lyrics of a song so spectacularly that it inadvertently became the soundtrack to your life of almost delusional self-confidence? Well, my friends, I've got a tale of royal musical mayhem and a track that kickstarted my reign as "Chris," at least in my mind. Let's dive into the groovy world of "My Name is Prince" and the unintentional boost of self-esteem it provided.

It all began one sunny afternoon in 1992 when I stumbled upon the iconic track "My Name is Prince." I had already been crowned as a fan of Prince and his music, long before I misheard "My Name is Prince" as "My Name is Chris." His electrifying tunes and charismatic performances had already woven their magic into my soul, making me a devoted follower of the Purple One. But little did I know that this misheard lyric would add a quirky and unforgettable chapter to my journey as a Prince enthusiast. Now, it's no secret that Prince was the epitome of cool, and his music oozed confidence from every note. So, naturally, I was intrigued. I was like all teenagers at the time , we got our dose of new music from recording Video Hits on CBC on a cassette player,  so I turned up the TV volume and the funky bassline kicked in, accompanied by that distinctive falsetto voice. But here's the twist - I misheard the lyrics. Badly.

Instead of "My Name is Prince," my ears happily betrayed me, and I heard "My Name is Chris." Yes, you read that correctly. I spent countless listens convinced that Prince was introducing himself as "Chris." I mean, it sounded plausible enough in my head, right? I was 19, and self-absorbed, but little did I know, this misheard lyric would become the catalyst for my own journey into delusional self-confidence.

With every play of "My Name is Prince" (or should I say "Chris"), I felt like I was channeling the purple icon himself. I strutted down the street with a newfound swagger, imagining that I was the one everyone was talking about. People would whisper, "Who's that confident guy? Must be Chris!" I reveled in this newfound alter ego, embracing the cool vibes and charisma I thought Prince – or Chris, in my mind – had bestowed upon me.

The misheard lyrics became a mantra, a daily affirmation of self-assuredness. I'd sing along with gusto, belting out "My Name is Chris" with a wink and a nod to anyone who would listen. And you know what? It worked! I walked taller, talked smoother, and generally felt like I could conquer the world, all thanks to my accidental transformation into a certain "Chris" of Prince’s proportions.

Of course, reality eventually caught up with me. Friends couldn't hold back their laughter when I confidently sang out loud and introduced myself as Prince’s “Chris”, they had to set the record straight, but by then I knew the lyric was “My Name is Prince” but I held firm in my head it was otherwise. It was a moment, but I can’t help but smile at the memories of my time as the imaginary "Chris."

So, the next time you find yourself mishearing the lyrics of a favorite song, don't be too quick to correct yourself. Embrace the misinterpretation, let it fuel your self-confidence, and see where it takes you. After all, as Prince (or Chris) would say, "You don't have to be rich to be my girl." Or in my case, you don't have to be a Prince to be Chris!

"The Dark Side of Happiness: Who You Believe, Not What You Believe"

Greetings fellow seekers of wisdom, humor, and the grim realities of existence. Today, let us delve into the cryptic abyss of happiness, armed with the notion that "happiness is not what you believe but who you believe." If you're expecting fluffy unicorns and rainbows, I suggest you take a detour to a more cheerful corner of the internet. Here, we wandering into the shadows.

You see, happiness isn't just about sipping chamomile tea while reciting positive affirmations in front of a mirror. It's not about believing that your chakras are aligned or that manifesting a brand-new sports car will fill the void in your soul. No, no, no. Happiness, according to my twisted premise, is more macabre.

Imagine happiness as a cunning side show carnival magician, dressed in black, lurking in the dark corners of your psyche. He's not interested in your dreams or your grand visions of success. He's interested in the twisted dance of human relationships. He feeds on your insecurities, doubts, and fears, using them to fuel his illusions of contentment.

But do not fear, for once you recognize this dark side of happiness, you gain the power to control it. You see, who we believe matters more than what we believe. Surround yourself with authentic individuals who value honesty and vulnerability.

You can have all the "I'm going to conquer the world" beliefs you want, but if you surround yourself with a tribe of vipers who thrive on negativity and misery, you'll find yourself teetering on the edge of despair. It's like trying to keep a bouquet of roses fresh in a room filled with chainsaw-wielding maniacs - eventually, something's going to get slashed.

But here's where it gets delightfully diabolical: the people you believe in don't have to be saints. They can be the misfits, the oddballs, the charmingly deranged souls who make life interesting. They can be the ones who understand that life is a chaotic carnival, and they're here for the ride, not the cotton candy.

Let us embrace the dark side of happiness. Let us choose our beliefs wisely and carefully select who we believe in. Let us surround ourselves with those who bring genuine joy to our lives, even if they come adorned with torns, sharp edges and a wicked sense of humor. And in doing so, we may just find true contentment - not through forced positivity, but through authentic connections with our fellow dark souls. As the wise philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once said, "You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star." Embrace your inner chaos and dance on, my friends. So sayeth the Dark Lord of Happiness.

Imagine you're in a dimly lit room, sipping bourbon with your motley crew of friends. They're the ones who don't flinch when you share your darkest fears and quirkiest fantasies. They're the ones who'll help you bury the body (metaphorically, of course), no questions asked. They're the ones who'll join you in a maniacal laughter that echoes through the night.

These are the folks who remind you that life is one big, chaotic circus, and you've got front-row seats. Your beliefs may lead you to the entrance, but it's the wild characters within that tent that make the show worth watching. It's okay to embrace the darkness, as long as it brings a wicked smile to your face.

So, my fellow seekers of the shadowy side of happiness, remember this: Happiness isn't just a state of mind; it's a carnival of connections, a freak show of friendships, and a mirror maze of meaningful relationships. Who you believe, not just what you believe, can guide you through the treacherous funhouse of existence.

As you navigate this bizarre journey called life, keep your eyes peeled for those who share your peculiar sense of humor, who appreciate the twisted beauty of the world, and who understand that happiness, in all its darkly humorous glory, is found in the company you keep.

Now, go forth and embrace the madness. And if you happen to stumble upon a carnival magician in the shadows, give him a nod and a wicked grin - he just might show you the most twisted and beautiful trick of all: the art of finding happiness in the company of fellow misfits.

Bumps and Bruises

Good morning my dear friends, here is a tale that combines the wisdom of ages with a dash of personal misadventure. Picture it: Bridgewater, Nova Scotia, 2023: a hospital room in April, where yours truly found himself on an unexpected vacation courtesy of a rather pesky stroke or two. Now, I'm not one to recommend such accommodations, but let me tell you, it's an excellent place for contemplation and reflection on ones state in life. And what did I choose to keep me company during this involuntary spa retreat? Well, some well-intentioned coloring books, a bag of jelly belly jelly beans and none other than Max Ehrmann's timeless masterpiece, "The Desiderata."

You see, dear friends, "The Desiderata" is not your run-of-the-mill poem. It's a roadmap for living, a GPS for the soul, a guide to navigating the chaotic maze that is life. And trust me, after dealing with a sudden health "hiccup", and a brush with death, I needed some serious guidance.

Now, I could bore you with a line-by-line analysis of the poem, but where's the fun in that? Instead, let's take a stroll through some of the highlights and see how they apply to my little hospital adventure. I strongly suggest you take a well-deserved break here and go read the poem yourself. You won't regret it! The link is at the bottom of this missive.

Ok, so first and foremost, Ehrmann tells us to "Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence." Well, there's nothing quite as noisy as a hospital room, with beeping machines, bustling nurses, and the occasional groan and cry of a fellow patient. "Go Placidly" HA! Easier said than done when you have a room full of doctors and nurses running around worried that you might not make it. But one thing I realized during this time was how important it is to not be ruled by fear. Yes, fear is natural and normal but allowing it to consume you does nothing in terms of helping the situation. That's why this line is so important: go placidly despite the commotion and stress that life throws your way. But, oh, how I tried to go placidly! I embraced the chaos with all the serenity I could muster, feeling like a zen master in anti-slip hospital socks and butt on full display in a hospital gown.

Next, Max advises us to "speak your truth quietly and clearly." Well, folks, I can assure you that whispering is a skill I have not perfected over the years, but it served me well when discussing treatment plans and asking for extra Jell-O. After all, there's no need to ruffle feathers when you're tethered to a hospital bed.

But perhaps the most relevant piece of wisdom from "The Desiderata" is this final gem: "With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful." My oh my, how this one hits home! Amidst the uncertainty of my health, I found solace in the simple beauty of the world outside my window—a tree swaying in the breeze, the occasional bird perched on a windowsill, and the gentle hum of life beyond those sterile walls.

Now, dear readers, the stroke was a rather inconvenient reminder that life doesn't always go according to plan. But Max Ehrmann's words offered a breath of fresh air and a renewed appreciation for the beauty that we often take for granted, that in the grand tapestry of our existence, our setbacks and struggles are threads that add depth and texture to the design.

So, next time you find yourself amid chaotic circumstances, remember Ehrmann's advice: go placidly amid the noise and haste, speak your truth quietly and clearly, and don't forget to appreciate the simple beauty of life. Embrace the chaos, speak your truth, find beauty in the world, and above all, be cheerful. Life may throw you a curveball now and then, but with a little wit and wisdom, you can still hit it out of the park.

And who knows, maybe one day you'll look back on your misadventures with a smile, just like I do when I think about that hospital room and the unexpected poetic companion that guided me through it.

https://www.desiderata.com/desiderata.html

"Humble Pie? Nah, I'll Take a Slice of Confident Swagger!"

"Confidence is key," so they say. How are we to maintain our confidence when we constantly downplay our skills, and successes and be humble? Well, it turns out, being humble is overrated. Mark Twain wrote a great quote, "Never be haughty to the humble and never be humble to the haughty."

In a world where modesty often takes center stage, it's easy to get lost in the shuffle of downplaying our achievements. We've all been there, trying to ride the line between acknowledging our capabilities and not wanting to come across as boastful. But let's face it, Mark Twain hit the nail on the head with his wisdom: "Never be haughty to the humble and never be humble to the haughty." It's a reminder that genuine confidence doesn't require putting others down or diminishing our accomplishments. Instead, it's about finding that sweet spot where we can stand tall in our achievements without overshadowing the achievements of others.

So, ditch the humility charade and embrace the refreshing honesty of embracing your capabilities. After all, Twain's words remind us that true confidence isn't about arrogance; it's about recognizing our worth and standing firm without belittling anyone else in the process.

When you achieve something great, don't just brush it off like it didn't matter — acknowledge the hard work you put into it and take pride in your accomplishment — it's simply recognizing that you can do great things when you set your mind to it.

So, is it important to be humble? To a certain point yes, just don't forget to celebrate your wins along the way. Recognize the power of your successes and never be afraid to feel proud of what you have achieved. There's nothing wrong with that- show off a little bit. That confidence is a crucial part of success, and if you don't believe in yourself then nobody else will, again be proud of your accomplishments and never let anyone take away your self-worth, your self-worth is a valuable commodity.

No one should make you feel less than or like you need to downplay your successes. Life is all about taking risks, believing in yourself and pushing forward — don't be afraid to go out and do it. Shake off the notion of being humble for the sake of appearances, and instead focus on actualizing your goals with confidence. Knowing that you are capable enough — no more downplaying accomplishments or not taking pride in your successes.

I am most proud of my failures, they are capital F FAILURES. I learn more from failures that I have from my successes, failures have taught me to pay attention and recognize what's needed around me, Isaac Newton paid attention when he watched an apple fall from a tree, a person at 3M paid attention and found a use for an otherwise failed adhesive and invented Post It notes. Do I think I'm like Issac Newton, no of course not, but I believe in the possibility of greatness because I have had failures that taught me to pay attention. So, don't be afraid to make mistakes and own them as lessons learned — never downplay yourself or limit your potential and don't downplay your failures, use them as fuel, use them to take risks and have confidence in all that you do.

There is a big difference between Douchebag confidence and real confidence, Douchebag confidence is hollow, filled with hormones, dick-measuring contests, self-loathing, an inferiority complex and the notion that you are better than anyone and that you can do anything. Real confidence comes from understanding your strengths and weaknesses, knowing you can't do anything and everything, and the measuring tape is always totally wrong, it just is...shut up. I know I can't be President of the United States, nor can I be a Prada model, however, I will walk like a supermodel on the treadmill at the gym... so it's about taking evaluated and calculated risks...when the situation calls for it. It is this kind of confidence that will bring you success, not the douchebag kind!

As I enter my 50th year on earth, I can honestly say that real confidence is sexy, nothing is more attractive than someone with a spark in their eye and a belief that they are capable of greatness. Actually "nothing is more attractive" is an overstatement, a well-toned body and somewhat symmetrical features are also highly attractive, but "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being, really, really ridiculously good-looking?" I have not and do not want to know the answer ;).

Don't be afraid to let your talents shine. Stars don't shine without fuel, so use your failures to fuel the belief that you can accomplish what you want, be proud of your successes, and keep going no matter the setback — these are the foundations for true success. Be proud, and make sure you never downplay the hard work you put into something because that's what truly helps you stand tall, use own your accomplishments and failures to move forward with real confidence.

Look, it's okay to be confident. There's no need to put yourself down or feel like you have to be humble, that negative narrative is insidious and damaging. Instead, focus on your accomplishments, take pride in your hard work and celebrate all that you have achieved. Go out there and be confident — own it, get on a treadmill, or a grocery aisle and try walking like you're Derek Zoolander or Naomi Campbell. Dare to be great, and don't forget to have fun while you're doing it. That's what all this is about after all — living life with a bit of swagger and enjoying every moment as best as you can.

And if all else fails, just watch "Zoolander" again... because even Derek Zoolander knows that confidence is key. And yes, I'm talking about the first one. ;)

"Its hard to be humble when you're as great as I am"

Mohammed Ali said that once.

Love, Loss, and Rollercoaster Rides

I want closure but it will not happen for me the way I would like. Isaac Asimov wrote, “They won't listen. Do you know why? Because they have certain fixed notions about the past. Any change would be blasphemy in their eyes, even if it were the truth. They don't want the truth; they want their traditions.” It's disheartening to accept that there is no closure in some relationships, but I have come to the realization that not all stories have a happy ending. In any case, it's better to move on than hold on, its wise to start anew with hope for something better.

Relationships are a carnival, we all clowns and the rollercoaster is love, its a carnival where not every ride ends with a smile and laughter. Sometimes, the ride stops midway, leaving us hanging, teetering between the past and the future. Isaac Asimov did warn us, didn't he? We humans adore our comfort blankets of traditions and familiar narratives, and how dare you snatch them away! This missive (a Chrismissive) is your guide to navigating the tricky waters of unrequited closures, following Asimov's breadcrumbs.

After a love story turns sour, our hearts don't just crave ice-cream and sad songs, but also some good old closure. We yearn for that full stop at the end of a painful sentence. But here's the news flash - you might not always get it. Asimov was right on point when he hinted that humans often would rather wear rose-colored glasses than face the raw truth. Hence, closure becomes a Bigfoot - heard of, but rarely seen.

Sometimes, closure can turn into an obsessive treasure hunt that leads to a dead end. We convince ourselves that one more conversation or one real reason would be our ticket to peace. But surprise, surprise! Closure isn't always wrapped in a neat little package, with a bow on top. It's accepting that the past is past, and some questions are better left unanswered.

The key to finding closure isn't waiting for an apology from your ex or a revelation from the universe. It's about turning the gaze inward and healing your own heart. Forget the external noise and listen to your inner voice. Closure is not a place you arrive at; it's a journey you undertake from within, its like walking through the haunted house , its a slow-paced process with no shortcuts and a lot of scary shit around each corner.

So if you're staring at the ceiling at night in search of some peace of mind, take it from me - closure needs to come from within. It will not always look like what you expect, but it's essential to open that door be prepared for what might be hiding behind it and let yourself out.

Although your ex might not hand you the closure you crave, you can gift it to yourself through self-reflection. Analyzing your actions, emotions, and the relationship itself can guide you to a deeper understanding of yourself. You'll be surprised at how therapeutic it can be to create closure out of your own resilience and wisdom. I've been in therapy dealing with the traumatic end of a relationship, I'm coming to terms with not all abuse is physical and not all closure needs to be had . That in itself is a form of closure.

Life, much like your favorite ride at a carnival, might make you puke your cotton candy out. But it's how you clean yourself up and dust off the corn dog that will determine your journey forward to the next carnival. So, closure is a personal thing, and if you take the time to create it for yourself , you will find the peace and understanding you long for.

In the world of love-gone-wrong, closure might not always knock on your door. Perhaps, Asimov's words were a hint that people are sometimes too attached to their past perceptions to embrace the truth. But closure isn't always a group project; it can be a solo mission, too. It comes from within as you release expectations, celebrate ambiguity, and prioritize self-reflection. Remember, you own the pen that writes your life's story. It might have a few smudged pages, but the story is still beautiful, and the best chapters are yet to be written.

So buckle up clowns, the ride is about to start again. No matter how elusive closure may seem, remember that hope and growth are your loyal sidekicks on this journey. While closure may be a luxury, resilience is a necessity

Taking a Punch

Those that know me know I like dark humor, I like a good joke, I tell bad jokes, I write jokes, and I've even sold a few good jokes to clear a bar tab or two... or three. Recently, I've come to love this little bit of insight I had, and kind of live by it... "I'd rather be the punchline of a dark joke than a forgotten footnote in a bland story." This sentiment is clear to me -Life is too short to settle for mediocrity or anonymity. Sure, there are risks attached to taking on anything new, but that doesn't mean you can just stand still and accept anything less than what you deserve. The punchline of a joke is memorable, it stands out; notice me or remember me - whatever the case may be.

While some may think it's a bit morbid to choose the punchline over the footnote, I'd rather be remembered for something memorable - even if it's cloaked in darkness. After all, don't they say that laughter is often the best medicine? That lesson was reinforced after my stroke when even the darkest of jokes were enough to make me feel better.

Yes, more often than not I prefer to be the punchline of a joke - it provides levity and entertainment during times of darkness. It's far better to have people remember you for something fun, light-hearted, and (sometimes) darkly humorous - instead of being forgotten

When my life story comes to an end, I want it to be filled with laughter, even if it's of the darker kind. I want my story to be told with a bit of glee - even if that glee comes from my misfortune. Let me live in infamy, not obscurity! I know, I know, it's not a cheerful sentiment - but that's how I roll.

That being said, there is something about the power of a footnote. It can be the tiny spark that ignites a movement. The forgotten words can become the ones that are remembered and echoed for years to come, even if it's in whispers. Screw that, I'll take the laughter.

At the end of the day, I'd rather be remembered - even if it's with a cringe - than forgotten in some bland story. So here I am the punchline of a dark joke, but never the footnote in some dull story.

So take heed everyone: Don't be forgotten like a footnote in a bland story - Instead, strive to be the punchline of an unforgettable dark joke. That's what I'm doing! So if you ever need someone to provide some comic relief during somber moments - just call my name and I'll be there! I'll be more than happy to make you CRINGE just a little... "Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? Because he had no-body to go with, darling! And let me tell you, that bony fella knew how to rattle the dance floor!" Shut up, that's funny!

Remember, life's too short not to laugh, even at the skeletons in our closets! Embrace the hilarity, my darlings, and keep those smiles shining bright!

Now let's laugh in the face of darkness.

Don't worry though, I'm laughing with you too...or maybe at you?

No... definitely with you.

Cheers friends, I'll see you on the dance floor. This skeleton is ready to rattle it up.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me.

I needed to  listen to Aretha Franklin this morning, and with its bold lyrics, "RESPECT"  it became more than just a song; its a cultural phenomenon that continues to inspire and help uplift listeners to this day. So, I want to dive into the puzzling world of respect, where definitions twist and turn like a wild ride at a theme park. I want to explain the difference of respect between treating someone like a person and treating them like an authority. Get ready to “take care of TCB!”

Respect is a word we often throw around without thinking about what it really means. It's like a chameleon, changing its meaning depending on the situation. Imagine walking down the street when someone yells at you, "Respect me!" Confusion would in. What do they want? Do they want to be treated like a person or someone in charge?

One definition of respect is treating someone like a person. It means treating each other with kindness, understanding, and empathy, no matter our positions or status. After all, we're all human beings with emotions, dreams, and a love for pizza. Treating someone like a person means recognizing their worth and making them feel valued.

But hold on, there is another definition where respect means treating someone like an authority. According to this view, respect is earned through power and knowledge. Those in authority expect others to obey them, follow their orders, and not question their decisions. It's like a dance where one side wants reverence while the other considers the escape routes.

Now, here's where it gets interesting, some people who are used to being treated like authorities often overlook the importance of treating others like people. They say, "If you won't respect me, I won't respect you!" Sounds fair, right? Well, not quite. What they're really saying is, "If you won't respect me, I won't treat you like a person."

Let's pause and think about this for a moment. They expect respect only when they're seen as authority figures, ignoring the essential aspect of treating others as human beings. It's like they have a filter that removes empathy and replaces it with a strict hierarchy. But here's the problem: this behavior isn't fair or acceptable.

In the realm of relationships, respect plays a crucial role in fostering a healthy and balanced connection. However, there are instances where respect can become imbalanced due to a disparity in resources between partners. When one partner lacks resources, such as financial stability or career success, it can sometimes lead to a power dynamic where the other partner unintentionally exerts authority. In such situations, it becomes crucial for both individuals to recognize the importance of treating each other with empathy, understanding, and equal respect, regardless of their respective resource levels. It's essential to create an environment where both partners feel valued and appreciated for their unique qualities and contributions, ensuring that respect becomes a two-way street that transcends material resources.

There are individuals who demand respect despite not having any legitimate authority or basis for such demands. These individuals might assert their worthiness solely based on their ego or inflated sense of self-importance. However, respect should not be demanded; it should be earned through actions, character, and treating others with kindness and empathy.

Imagine a world where respect is an exclusive club, only granting membership to those with power, wealth, or titles. It would be a dull and dreary existence. Respect shouldn't be a one-way street. It should flow freely, recognizing the worth of every individual, regardless of their social standing.

So, let's challenge this flawed notion. Let's make respect a universal currency exchanged between people, not just held by those who see themselves as authorities. Let's treat each other with kindness, empathy, and the understanding that we're all imperfect humans on this rollercoaster called life.

Respect is a complex concept that can confuse and puzzle us. Some see respect as treating someone like a person, while others see it as a tool for enforcing authority. However, we must remember that respect shouldn't be limited to a select few. Instead, let's make it a fundamental principle guiding our interactions with every person we meet.

So go out there and spread some joy and treat each other like people! Let's build a world where respect knows no boundaries, and where humor and wit triumph over misguided notions of authority.

Signing off with Sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me
A little respect,

Dom's Don't Do Dishes? Navigating the Challenges of Romance and Kink.

Welcome, dear readers, where we dive into the whimsical world of romance and kink, where the sheets are tangled, and the boundaries are pushed. Today, we're tackling the new age conundrum of balancing a romantic relationship and a kinky relationship with the same person. Is it even possible?

The answer is…. -with a few words of wisdom and a good sense of humor, here I'll be talking about the differences between romantic relationships and kinky relationships and how to navigate.

We all know that relationships come with their fair share of challenges; however, when you add in a kink factor, some unique challenges come with the territory. Do they need to be in separate relationships, with different partners? Can you be both the lover and the Dom? Let's take a look.

When it comes to romantic/heteronormative relationships, there is usually an unspoken or spoken agreement that the partners are in an exclusive relationship. They share their feelings, trust each other, and respect one another and they rely on that one person to fulfill ALL of their desires and sexual needs... Kinky relationships are not much different, they trust each other, have respect for each other, and still share intimate details but are often more about exploration than just commitment to each other, it's not to say they don't commit to each other, it's just the focus is on pushing boundaries and exploring new sexual activities, including a deep emotional connection.

But, how do you balance the two? It's all about communication - talking through your desires and expectations to make sure everyone is on the same page. If you want your kink relationship to be separate from your romantic one, it's important to set clear boundaries with your partner so that they understand the distinction between the two. However, if you do choose to combine your romantic and kinky relationships, it's important to remember that both partners need to be comfortable with the situation and feel safe exploring their sexuality. Your partner might not be as experienced in certain activities as you are, so communication is key to making sure everyone feels included and respected. In a purely romantic relationship for example, when discussing dinner plans, one partner may prefer going out for Italian while the other would like spicy Mexican food - but for kink, one partner may prefer to be a dominant figure and dress like a comic book superhero while the other prefers the submissive role and be kept in a cage wearing a latex catsuit. See! The similarities are astounding!

It's normal for any couple to find it difficult to stay on the same page when it comes to their relationship dynamic - but with a few witty remarks and an open mind, I think it is possible to find a balance between kink and romance. It's all about understanding your partner's needs, communicating openly, and finding common ground. The trickiest part of navigating a romantic kink relationship is knowing when to be serious and when to have a good laugh. Kink can get quite intense at times, things can get heavy quickly, and if you don't know how to take it with a grain of salt, things can get out of hand and spill into conflicts outside the bedroom, or playroom. It's important to be able to laugh and joke with one another because it helps keep the relationship healthy.

So, take a few deep breaths, step back for a moment to gain some perspective, and trust that communication is key, a good sense of humor is very important, given the things that happen in a kink dynamic, you have to be able to laugh. But by following simple guidelines, couples can enjoy a balance between romance and kink - and have a good chuckle during the process. After all, true love isn't just about finding someone who loves us deeply; it's also about finding someone with whom we can share a good laugh over a cat o'nine tails.

Let's Get Cooking... Or Not: In a traditional romance, we often find ourselves cooking together, sharing recipes, and tackling the never-ending pile of laundry and household chores. But in a kinky relationship, things take an interesting turn. Suddenly, our beloved dominant or submissive becomes the orchestrator of our wildest fantasies, leaving the mundane tasks like doing dishes a bit, well, neglected? After all, who needs clean plates when you have handcuffs and whips? But fear not, this doesn't mean that we should forget about domestic duties completely. Setting aside the time to do something mundane can be a great way for both partners to escape the intensity of kink and intimately reconnect with each other. It's also possible to include kink in the daily chores, why not add some playful teasing, a plug and leather restraints to the vacuuming?

To have a successful kinky relationship with your romantic partner, you need to be able to talk openly about your desires and expectations and communicate clearly about boundaries and safety measures. With these few tips in mind, you'll be able to explore the world of kink with your romantic partner and come away with some unforgettable memories - both naughty and nice. So, what are you waiting for? Grab a whip and get started! One note: remember that when it comes to any type of relationship - especially ones involving kink you must make sure that both partners are comfortable with the parameters of their relationship and that any changes are discussed openly and consented to.

Date Night Dilemmas: Ah, the classic date night—the cornerstone of romance. But in a kinky relationship, date nights can turn into a delightful game of "Guess What's in the Bag?" Will it be lacy lingerie or a leather paddle or a sleep sack? The suspense is palpable! Planning romantic evenings requires an added level of creativity as we navigate the fine line between soft caresses and naughty spankings. It's all about finding the perfect balance between candlelit dinners and stimulating electro-play.

Whispering Sweet Nothings... or Not-So-Sweet Nothings: Romantic relationships are built on a foundation of sweet, tender words. But in the world of kink, communication takes a tantalizing turn. Suddenly, "I love you" is swapped for "Yes, Mistress" or "Thank you, Sir." or "Put this on me'" It's a linguistic adventure where the language of love merges with the language of dominance and submission. Just remember, hearing "Toss the Salad" or "You're such a good boy" and "Thank you Daddy' in the bedroom one day might make it hard to keep a straight face during family gatherings the next.

The Social Circle: Navigating a dual relationship means venturing into uncharted territories when it comes to introducing your partner to friends and family. Do we spill the beans about our love for role-playing and bondage, or do we keep it hush-hush? It's a constant game of deciding what to reveal and what to keep as a thrilling secret. Just remember, family gatherings can get a little awkward when Aunt Wendy starts asking about your "special interests." and "What do you do for fun?" I’m quite open about my proclivities with friends and some family, and I have businesses that are dedicated and sprung from kink and fetishes, but I’m mindful of how deep to venture into those uncharted waters.

Safe Words and Sticky Situations: In the realm of kink, for most, safe words are the golden rule. But in the heat of the moment, remembering whether "Syrup" means "stop" or "more" can be a challenge. It's like trying to recite the alphabet backward while balancing on one leg. So, don't be surprised if you find yourself accidentally shouting "Pass the salt!" during a particularly intense scene.

As we wrap up this exploration of romance and kink, let's remember that navigating both worlds simultaneously is a delicate art. It's a tightrope walk where laughter, love, and consent reign supreme. So, embrace the hilarity, celebrate the adventure, and remember in the quirky realm of romance and kink, the dishes may pile up, but the love and pleasure flows abundantly.

Survival Conundrum:

Is saying you are in survival mode an excuse for bad behavior? No? Maybe? Yes? It can be a warning of the dangers we face. When we are in survival mode, we tend to prioritize immediate rewards over long-term goals, which leads to more frequent mistakes. It's easy to get overwhelmed and end up making decisions that have life altering negative consequences.

So, what does living in "survival mode" even mean? Is it a real thing? Yes, it is - we've all been there at some point in our lives. Living in "survival mode" typically refers to a state of heightened stress, where an individual's primary focus is on meeting their basic needs and overcoming immediate challenges or threats. It often occurs in situations where resources are scarce, such as during times of financial hardship, relationship conflict, or other significant life stressors. Living in survival mode can be dangerous because not only do you tend to make more mistakes when running on that level, but you also do not set up patterns that will help you move forward and improve your life. Survival mode means you are living like a hamster in a wheel, constantly running but not really getting anywhere. Sure, you might make some progress here and there, but chances are you're going to make more mistakes in the process. After all, when we're stuck in survival mode, our focus is solely on making it through one day at a time instead of creating sustainable behaviors for success. So, when you find yourself slipping into that “just get through it” mindset – step back and remember that true success comes from creating positive behaviors that will take you further than just surviving one day at a time!

I lived in survival mode for a few years, 2018-2022, and let me tell you – it was no picnic! Not only did I make more mistakes than usual, but I also found myself struggling to get out of self-defeating behaviors and I could barely meet my immediate needs. Those years could have been so much more rewarding if I had taken the time to create healthy behaviors for success, instead, I made mistakes, and holy shit they were big mistakes, but they didn't have to be, but they were. I made more mistakes than I would normally make. I was constantly on edge, not quite sure what was coming next or how to manage it. It was like a game of chance—I rolled the dice every day and hoped that things didn't fall apart! But the thing is, when I was living life in this way, I didn't get to learn from my mistakes and didn't give myself chances to make positive changes. I was stuck in a cycle of chaos, doing the same things over and over again until something finally broke. It's not a pattern, it was a conundrum that kept repeating itself.

A conundrum is a difficult problem with no perceived clear solution. Living in survival mode is like being stuck in an endless loop of conundrums, I was not able to solve them and move forward. So, for me to make positive changes in my life, it was important to get out of the survival mode mentality and take proactive steps towards creating healthy habits for success. I had to take planned risks, and gather resources, I had to pause, reflect and have some time to learn from my mistakes and figure out how to fix them one by one. I’m still fixing my mistakes, some of them are expensive, some of them are taking far more time than expected and some are far more complicated by international borders.

So, context is very important because it gives the background information and understanding needed to interpret and make sense of a situation, statements, and behaviors. When context is ignored or omitted, information will be interpreted wrongly or misunderstood, which can cause confusion and incorrect conclusions.

I had divorced my partner of 15 years and started a new business on my own that was offering limited success at the time, I was in a new relationship, the planet had a global pandemic that had caused a huge economic upheaval globally and decimated my industry, I blew through all my savings in NYC, and like millions of others I felt the effects of this on my business and I did not have the resources to address and remedy it immediately or effectively. It took some time, but eventually, I started to make progress, but it was so slow, and it was inconsistent and unreliable. I was not able to stop living in survival mode, and as a partner I was unstable, unreliable, and lacked financial resources, and the ability to correct my course was limited by a US Investor VISA I held at the time. I tried so hard to create strategies by taking planned risks and learning from my mistakes, and I started gathering resources, but it was slow, too slow. I was not a good partner, I could not take care of myself finically, the resentments built up to contempt and the relationship ended after I was denied entry to the US after a trio to Mexico for my birthday. How? I neglected to apply for an i95 waiver during Covid, it was my own undoing.

Eventually, I was able to put together a plan that allowed me to break out of survival mode and build a more stable life. It wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t fast, but it was worth it. Now, instead of constantly living in fear and chaos, I can focus on long-term goals and make decisions with confidence. It was stressful and emotionally draining, but I was determined to make the change and that is what enabled me to do it. Hey, things started looking good, life was getting better, and I have some resources, and some stability, so why not add to the mix and throw in two near-fatal strokes? It knocked me down but not out, I did not surrender to living in survival mode again. I used my past experiences as a guide and made positive changes, which enabled me to get back up on my now wobbly feet and move forward with life.

It's easy for others to point their finger and accuse you of a pattern of bad behaviors, but when you are in survival mode, it is much more difficult to get out of it and make lasting changes that are for the betterment of yourself. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't break free from the cycle, because, with a lot of effort and dedication, it is possible. Change is hard, but it isn't impossible. It takes courage, resilience, and determination to break the cycle of chaos and take control of your life.

So, if you want to get out of survival mode, the bottom line is it's going to be hard, and it will take some time, but with determination and the right approach, you can do it. You have the power to transform your life for the better—it's up to you to make that happen. Take a risk, learn from your mistakes, be proactive in developing healthy habits, and don’t give up!

It won't be easy, but anything worth doing is going to require effort. Understand there is a vast difference between someone making mistakes and someone with a pattern of bad behavior. The mistakes that are made can be huge and have devastating impacts on you and others. Mistakes are valuable learning opportunities, while patterns are habits and habits can be broken.

The Marvels of Me, Myself, and I

We can only do the best we can with the resources we have available and only when our resources are completely depleted can we really see who we are, do we take more than we give? Do we take those around us for granted? Are the people in our life only there when it is convenient for us? These are all questions we must ask ourselves to determine if we are being selfish. If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then we may be guilty of being a bit too self-absorbed.

Hording resources and not allowing others to benefit from our overflow is selfish. Selfishness comes in many forms, whether it be materialistic, emotional, or physical; if someone has more than they need and won't share it - that's selfish. It’s like having that last donut when you know there are other people who could have had one too – not cool! Being selfish can really hurt relationships and make us feel isolated and alone. We must remember the power of selflessness - being generous with our time, resources, or energy can help us gain a sense of satisfaction that nothing else can bring.

We all have moments where we just want to look after ourselves, and that’s ok. After all, it’s important to make sure our own needs are met first before we can help others. But if you find yourself putting yourself in the spotlight all the time, it might be time to set some boundaries and start thinking about those around you. Taking care of yourself and being generous with your resources is a great way to live a fulfilled life, BUT it doesn't mean you have to always put yourself first and ignore everybody else, it does mean that sometimes you have to take a step back to ensure your own wellbeing. It's a way of loving ourselves enough to make sure our needs are met so that we can share what we have with others. If you don't look after yourself then you won't have anything left over to give away.

Relationships can place a tremendous amount strain on resources, and context matters here, there will be times when you are the one with the resources, such as financial, family support, and emotional energy, and that means you need to allocate those resources accordingly. It doesn't mean you have to ignore the other person's needs or give them less than they deserve, it just means that sometimes your own wellbeing has to take priority if you are to make sure everyone involved is taken care of. If you lack the resources and are dependent on someone else, it does not mean you are selfish, but it does mean that you might need to be honest about your needs. Communication is key, it's important to make sure that both parties understand the terms of the situation. I've not been the most communicative or honest about resource situations, I was ashamed to admit my dependence on other people, and that was selfish. It placed undue pressure on those around me, making them responsible for my wellbeing and preventing them from providing what I actually needed. It felt selfish at the time, but when I look back it was about learning to be honest.

In a relationship it’s about finding the balance between looking after yourself and giving what you do to others in order to ensure everyone is taken care of. Ultimately, it's about ensuring our own wellbeing as well as those around us. You can only do this if you know what resources you have and where to allocate them accordingly. Being selfish isn't always a bad thing; sometimes it may be necessary for the greater good. When done with intention and mindfulness, it has its place in our lives – just like anything else.

It doesn't mean putting yourself first at all costs or ignoring everybody else's needs; it just means valuing yourself enough to look after your own well-being so that there's something left for others. So don’t be afraid to take a step back and prioritize your needs - it’s not only okay, but it’s also necessary! After all, if you can’t ask for what you need, no one else will do it for you. Just remember to show the same respect and consideration for others that you’d want them to have for you. Given the circumstances, being selfish in its essence is a way of loving yourself enough to make sure your needs are met so that you can be better equipped to care for those around you.

Sometimes the way we look at ourselves is different to how others make us feel. Self-care takes practice and can be hard when people around us do not understand our need for it. Selfishness doesn't always have to be seen as negative - sometimes it means taking the necessary steps to care for yourself so that you can ultimately be a better friend, partner, family member or colleague overall.

It's important to remember that being selfish isn't about being a bad person or putting everyone else last - it's simply about making sure your needs are met first so that you can be at your best for those around you. It's okay to take the time to put yourself first, and it may actually be a good thing in the end.

When we come from a place of love and selflessness, we create a better world for ourselves and those around us.

Like Elvis dying on the toilet, me dying from a sudden stroke lacks poetry.

It's been a few weeks since I had my strokes. They were almost fatal and a wake-up call to live life to the fullest. I've been making the most of my days (mostly sleeping) and learning to appreciate every moment. It's not easy, but each day is a new opportunity for growth and adventure! Here's hoping my next two strokes aren't anytime soon! Although.... I did lose about 12 lbs., so I'm one stroke away from my ideal weight.

I'm already getting back on my feet, I'm staying with old friends in Mahone Bay NS, and looking forward to taking on new challenges - no matter what they are. I know it is cliche, but I have learned that it's important to make every second count. So, I'm challenging myself to embrace life with open arms - you never know what amazing things could happen!

I spent two weeks in the hospital, learning to walk with a walker, to walking on my own with an ever so slight lean to the left, to struggling for words and sentences, to dealing with every sound made that was impossible to comprehend , to learning to have patience, of which I still have very little.

I'm not sure why I had two strokes, but who's counting right?
I lived a pretty healthy lifestyle*, I mean let's be serious I was no angel, but I don't smoke, I drank socially*, exercised regularly, and didn't eat like I was a death row inmate where every meal was my last*, all efforts were an intentional plan to mitigate risks in my later years. These strokes happened out of the blue with all risk mitigation plans in effect... maybe they did work, I didn't die. But the lesson learned is, no matter how healthy you are or what risk mitigation plans you have in place, life can still surprise you. Live your best life and never take it for granted. This was not fatal so, it's a stroke of luck if I do say so myself!

The important thing is that I am recovering quickly and doing very well - all thanks to the fantastic team of doctors and nurses and family and loved ones! The support has been fabulous, and I thank all of you all from the bottom of my heart!

Now, here I am back in the world of the living. Ready to take on whatever life throws at me with all the energy and enthusiasm of a toddler...so not much has changed in that respect. My mission in life is to make the most of every moment and live like there's no tomorrow! Welcome to my new world... a world filled with more laughter, love, resilience and determination. A world where anything is possible - even when times are tough.

Recovering from the two strokes has been quite an adventure, however an adventure I do not recommend, trust me, my Yelp review of Strokes will be scathing. I'm so thankful for each step I was able to take along the way. It was hard work, and no matter how daunting things seemed at times I pushed my way through.

This experience has given me a renewed sense of purpose and appreciation for my life, and if nothing else, at least I've learned something else. NOTHING MATTERS. Yeah, nothing matters, literally NOTHING, except living your best life. We are are fragile beings, and our lives are too short to just sit on the sidelines, so here's to making every moment count!

My story is far from over - join me as I continue on this journey of recovery and self-discovery. Who knows? We just might stumble across some incredible experiences together that will stay with us forever! Until then, keep living each day like there's no tomorrow! there might not be one.

EDITORIAL NOTE: Please note that these content examples are meant as guidance only and should not be taken as medical advice.

*May have been an over-exaggeration, but I’m allowed to live a bit!

on the road… again

I'm about halfway through my journey, and I must say, traveling on my own has been nothing short of an adventure! As the days go by, my exploration of this country continues to amaze me. From the old monuments in Winnipeg that tell tales of forgotten nights at Happenings to the south shore of Nova Scotia where every view looks like a Group of Seven portrait - it's been an incredible experience so far. With each new place I visit, I find myself in awe at how much there is to discover here.

Since my sudden, unexpected, and tragic departure from the US on November 3, I've been given a lot of time to think about the first half of my life and what the next half of my life will look like. The first half has been filled with major successes and failures. I was married to a wonderful person for many years, only to get divorced, and then hit an all-time low dealing with a struggling business made even worse during the covid lockdown, to being ripped away from the home and partner I loved so much, due to my negligence.

I was shaken to my core and it took time to find my footing, and instead of letting this failure define me, with the support of some of my closest friends in Vancouver and Winnipeg, I chose to pick myself up and embark on a new journey - one that would take me across Canada to get my dog Blu and find me in search of a new home. For some people, this decision may seem daunting or even crazy. Why leave when you have so much to stay for? Why spend your days and nights alone, just you and the open road?

Honestly, I've never felt so free! Something is thrilling about being able to experience new places on my terms; exploring the country, trying out local delicacies, or simply taking in a view that many never get to see. It’s given me time to reflect on my journey so far and plan for what’s ahead. Traveling alone has also allowed me to spend time with my family, see old friends, and meet some amazing new people, - locals who have shown me around and have given some great advice. This decision has turned into one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.

Truth be told, I do miss my life and what I had and who I loved in NY every day, was it perfect? No, not at all, even the most beautiful pieces of art have their flaws, but it was mine, and I had a connection that can never be replaced. That chapter has ended and a new chapter has begun. For now, I'm embracing the journey that comes and seeing where it takes me next.

So, if there is one thing I’ve learned in this journey so far - it is that life cannot be contained to a single place or person. Life exists outside of those boundaries and this time alone has opened my eyes to the world around me.

I still have much more road to cover with Blu, but I know that wherever we end up, we will both have some great stories to tell! So for now, it's time for me to continue my journey and see what else awaits me on the road. Who knows, maybe the next surprise will make all this worthwhile! Until then… wish me luck!

Next stop Lunenburg.

rhymes with lament

I've become reacquainted with an old word, "Repent". Well… actually, I've developed a new understanding of the word, and I'm not talking about the biblical definition and use of repent, but about the use of it in everyday moments when you realize you've done something wrong, it's kind of a fancy way of saying, "Oops! I messed up. I'll do better next time." However, repentance is more than just messing up and saying sorry , but it’s a full understanding that repentance is an important step in growing as a person and becoming the best version of ourselves.

The etymology of the word repentance is the from the Greek work metanoia - to think differently, to change one's mind, to change one's ways, a reorientation, and a fundamental transformation of outlook. Repentance is a moment of self-awareness and self-realization that can be both humbling and empowering. When we repent, we make a conscious decision to learn from our mistakes and do better next time. We recognize our imperfections and strive to become better people – not just for ourselves, but for the people around us. A sincere apology is a great start, but true repentance requires action to make amends and put things right in our lives. It takes time, effort, and commitment to make a lasting change, but it's worth the investment. Repentance isn't easy, but it doesn't have to be hard either so don't beat yourself up, this is not about self-flagellation — it’s about taking it one step at a time to make changes, even if it takes a few tries, remember: when you repent, you are showing yourself (and anyone else who may have been affected) that you are capable of growth and transformation, and that is the beauty of it .

Repentance is about understanding why something was wrong and then making a conscious effort not to do it again, it’s an intentional shift in perspective and lifestyle, which requires commitment and perseverance if we want to see real transformation. That's why we need to be careful not to take repentance lightly; there are real consequences for our actions and only through true repentance can we truly make things right. If you ever find yourself in the wrong, don't just say sorry – think about what made it wrong and why it was wrong. Repentance is not just the act of remorse, it’s a lifestyle change, and to do this you may need to change your environment, maybe change the people around you, take full responsibility for your actions, and in some cases asking for help from a professional. Ultimately, repentance is an act of love that shows how much we value ourselves and our relationships with others. It's a powerful tool for transformation and growth. 

So let’s bring it back ! Let's use it more often, and make it part of our everyday lives.

Hope this helps!

private parts

Im in therapy. I go and seek out specific therapists and schools of therapy when I feel I need a "tune-up" or when I have a goal in mind. I am also a firm believer in the notion that my mental health is just as important as my physical health, so I make sure to give it equal attention.

I like the idea that taking care of your mental health is just like maintaining a car - you need to maintain it with oil changes or change up the parts now and then. Different therapies take on different roles and use different methods to help maintain the parts of your mental health, but they all have one goal in mind: helping us become more aware of ourselves and our habits, so we can better manage our thoughts and behaviors. It might sound complex, but it's just a bunch of small parts working together to make a bigger whole operate more smoothly.

Therapy helps me understand where my thoughts are coming from, how they might be affecting my behavior, and how I can address them with healthy strategies. In other words: it's like I'm my mechanic, tinkering away at all the small parts of myself to help them work better together. Maybe you don't need an oil change every time something goes wrong with your car - but many times, giving it some TLC can prevent bigger problems down the road. Just like that, working on our mental health can save us from major issues in the future.

I'm going to be exploring a school of therapy called The Internal Family Systems model. It was devised in the 1980s by psychotherapist Richard Schwartz to help people better identify and work with their internal parts. It's all about understanding the different, often conflicting sides of ourselves and learning how to bring them into harmony.

It's an approach that looks at all the parts of my identity to help me learn more about myself, and ultimately make more conscious decisions about how I think and act. I'm excited to start tackling my own "parts" and "resources," as well as look at how each one impacts my life. These parts are the inner caregiver, the critic, the drill sergeant, the defender, the wounded child, and the procrastinator, just to name a few. We all have these "parts" in us and they can be helpful or they can be destructive. The IFS model will help me understand which parts are helpful and which ones are not, so I can make more conscious choices about how to think and act in the world.

As I’m getting older I see my mental health as something that will have ongoing attention - and it's not just a one-time fix. It would be like like giving a car a new coat of paint instead of just getting it washed, detailed, and serviced regularly - each part works together for the greater good! IFS will also allow me to get to know my "parts" and recognize when certain parts are more active than others, all of this is so I'll have a better understanding of how to keep them all in balance so they can continue working harmoniously or when to give some parts rest and ask other parts to take a step back.

Therapy is an amazing way to explore different parts of ourselves and use them as a tool to help us reach our goals. With the right therapist, guidance, understanding, and support, anyone can become a mechanic for their mental health. A good therapist will guide you, and show you the tools, but you have to do the work. I'm looking forward to learning how to work with these diverse and sometimes conflicting parts, to be able to form healthier relationships with myself and others.

At the end of the day, it’s important to remember that taking care of your mental health is a long-term investment. Just like taking good care of your car with regular maintenance, therapy can help you keep everything running smoothly! So check in on yourself often and see what types of “tune-ups” might be necessary.

That's why I'm here - just giving my mental health some much-needed TLC.

unwanted guest

heartbreak entered the room,

an unwanted somber guest.

defiantly taking up space, painful, sorrowful, uncomfortable

it’s here to stay for a while, at best.

you must make peace with it to move it along.

the only way out

is

through.

so, you’ll sit with the heartbreak a little while longer,

until one day, you'll look back at this time

and realize that heartbreak it did mend.

it moved on.

it has prepared you for something better,

for something stronger,

in the end

broken bowls

For the past few months, I've been pretty broken and thought I was damaged goods. But, if you're familiar with the Japanese tradition of Kintsugi, you'll know that brokenness can be something to celebrate. Kintsugi is the art of taking broken ceramics and putting them back together with gold or other precious metals, making them stronger and more beautiful than before. Kintsugi is related to wabi-sabi, the Japanese concept of finding beauty in imperfection, and Mushin, the Japanese philosophy of living in the present moment and embracing life as it is. I was reminded today of those art forms by a dear friend, and I reflected on my own experiences over the past few months and all that has been broken. Though it has been incredibly hard to go through this time, it has made me appreciate what I have and taught me that broken can be beautiful too. It's a reminder that life is full of ups and downs, and those experiences make us stronger and more resilient if we allow them. It's time to start celebrating the brokenness and embracing them as part of our journey.

Those philosophies remind us that even though there are difficult times, we can come out stronger on the other side if we find a way to make peace with our circumstances. It helps us focus on what is important and appreciate every moment as it comes our way. We may not be able to control everything that happens to us but we can choose how we respond to it. They are meant to remind us to practice self-compassion and use our experiences as tools to become stronger rather than dwell endlessly on them. Our scars tell stories that may be painful at times, but they are ultimately a reminder of our resilience and strength and that there is value in imperfections, and that these imperfections are something to celebrate, not hide.

I'm ready to move on and begin my journey toward greater self-discovery and appreciation for life's ups and downs. I am no longer afraid of being broken because I know that even in the darkest of moments, there is still beauty to be found if I am willing to look for it. For me, it has been a journey of contrition and healing, and I'm moving forward with an appreciation for life's lessons, even if they're the hard ones. It's time for me to find beauty in brokenness, learn from it, and grow stronger. It’s a philosophy that encourages us all to be brave enough to pick up the pieces when we fall – and use those pieces to build something beautiful instead of throwing it in the trash and starting over from scratch!

I think I am in the gluing back together phase of my journey, and I'm realizing its ok if pieces are broken or missing or they just don't fit together anymore, but with time and patience, I will eventually be stronger, more valuable and more beautiful than ever. Remember Kintsugi isn't just a craft, it's an attitude and a real philosophy toward life. So, I'm going to be embracing it – and all the brokenness that comes with it. And who knows, maybe I'll even take up ceramics as a way to practice what I preach! It's time to see Kintsugi in my life and find beauty in the shattered pieces.

I'm sure you've got your own story of brokenness that can be just as inspiring. There is beauty and strength in being vulnerable, in being mature enough to accept the results of actions, in being responsible enough to sweep up the broken fragments, and in being patient enough to put them back together -no matter how difficult or long it might take. Creating a work of art takes time, so wherever you are in your journey, take solace in the fact that brokenness does not define you – it only makes you more beautiful and unique. Take time to work on your masterpiece and start embracing your broken bits.

It doesn't matter if you're struggling with a broken heart or a broken dream - any kind of brokenness can be turned into something uniquely special and beautiful. Be inspired by the art that is your life and challenge yourself to mend the broken pieces with gold. And in so doing, you will come back stronger and brighter, and more valuable than before.

Smell you later!!

smell you later!!

I'm looking to buy a new fragrance. It ought to be a deeply personal and intimate purchase for all of us. The scent we choose has the power to evoke memories and emotions that are deeply meaningful to us. It is important to find a fragrance that speaks to our personality, lifestyle, and mood at any given moment. Science has proven that fragrances can affect us on a psychological level and that certain scents can trigger powerful memories. For this reason, selecting the perfect fragrance is so important!

When I think about the various fragrances I have worn over the years, I’m reminded of moments that have stayed with me. From life on the farm to summers spent abroad, to the first time I ever danced in the rain, to my first apartment, to every time I fell in love.

Each fragrance has its own story so every time I spritz on a scent, I am instantly taken back to that moment of joy, love, and contentment. I have collected dozens of personal fragrances and each is now an aromatic time capsule able to transport me back to a moment in time and relive the emotions and memories tied to it. The memories and emotions are trapped forever like a prehistoric insect in a liquid amber tomb.

When it comes to choosing a new fragrance, there is no one-size-fits-all solution. I'm looking for a scent that will capture a unique moment in my life and hold its memory close to my heart. Ultimately, the fragrance I choose should be special to me and will eventually evoke strong emotions of joy and nostalgia. Choosing a new fragrance can be an exciting adventure. I like to explore the multitude of notes, scents, and sensations that each one offers. It’s often a complex process trying to find just the right combination that will make me feel most confident and comfortable in my skin. Once I find the perfect fragrance, it will become a part of me for years to come. The choice I make today is an investment into my personal story, and history, and reflects who I am at this moment in time, and the memories I will take with me for years to come are the bonus. The right fragrance can bring warmth and delight, comfort, and hope. There is no greater indication of who we are than in the scent we choose to wear and the story it tells.

Choosing a fragrance is about much more than just smell – it’s about emotion, memory, and personal connection. When you spritz a new scent, you are investing in yourself and the memories you will make along the way. Picking a signature aroma that will follow you through life is a beautiful reminder of the moments, places, and people who have touched your heart. The right fragrance is part of your story, and it’s one I'm looking forward to smelling.

update: my new fragrance is Vetiver from Diptyque