The Marvels of Me, Myself, and I
We can only do the best we can with the resources we have available and only when our resources are completely depleted can we really see who we are, do we take more than we give? Do we take those around us for granted? Are the people in our life only there when it is convenient for us? These are all questions we must ask ourselves to determine if we are being selfish. If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then we may be guilty of being a bit too self-absorbed.
Hording resources and not allowing others to benefit from our overflow is selfish. Selfishness comes in many forms, whether it be materialistic, emotional, or physical; if someone has more than they need and won't share it - that's selfish. It’s like having that last donut when you know there are other people who could have had one too – not cool! Being selfish can really hurt relationships and make us feel isolated and alone. We must remember the power of selflessness - being generous with our time, resources, or energy can help us gain a sense of satisfaction that nothing else can bring.
We all have moments where we just want to look after ourselves, and that’s ok. After all, it’s important to make sure our own needs are met first before we can help others. But if you find yourself putting yourself in the spotlight all the time, it might be time to set some boundaries and start thinking about those around you. Taking care of yourself and being generous with your resources is a great way to live a fulfilled life, BUT it doesn't mean you have to always put yourself first and ignore everybody else, it does mean that sometimes you have to take a step back to ensure your own wellbeing. It's a way of loving ourselves enough to make sure our needs are met so that we can share what we have with others. If you don't look after yourself then you won't have anything left over to give away.
Relationships can place a tremendous amount strain on resources, and context matters here, there will be times when you are the one with the resources, such as financial, family support, and emotional energy, and that means you need to allocate those resources accordingly. It doesn't mean you have to ignore the other person's needs or give them less than they deserve, it just means that sometimes your own wellbeing has to take priority if you are to make sure everyone involved is taken care of. If you lack the resources and are dependent on someone else, it does not mean you are selfish, but it does mean that you might need to be honest about your needs. Communication is key, it's important to make sure that both parties understand the terms of the situation. I've not been the most communicative or honest about resource situations, I was ashamed to admit my dependence on other people, and that was selfish. It placed undue pressure on those around me, making them responsible for my wellbeing and preventing them from providing what I actually needed. It felt selfish at the time, but when I look back it was about learning to be honest.
In a relationship it’s about finding the balance between looking after yourself and giving what you do to others in order to ensure everyone is taken care of. Ultimately, it's about ensuring our own wellbeing as well as those around us. You can only do this if you know what resources you have and where to allocate them accordingly. Being selfish isn't always a bad thing; sometimes it may be necessary for the greater good. When done with intention and mindfulness, it has its place in our lives – just like anything else.
It doesn't mean putting yourself first at all costs or ignoring everybody else's needs; it just means valuing yourself enough to look after your own well-being so that there's something left for others. So don’t be afraid to take a step back and prioritize your needs - it’s not only okay, but it’s also necessary! After all, if you can’t ask for what you need, no one else will do it for you. Just remember to show the same respect and consideration for others that you’d want them to have for you. Given the circumstances, being selfish in its essence is a way of loving yourself enough to make sure your needs are met so that you can be better equipped to care for those around you.
Sometimes the way we look at ourselves is different to how others make us feel. Self-care takes practice and can be hard when people around us do not understand our need for it. Selfishness doesn't always have to be seen as negative - sometimes it means taking the necessary steps to care for yourself so that you can ultimately be a better friend, partner, family member or colleague overall.
It's important to remember that being selfish isn't about being a bad person or putting everyone else last - it's simply about making sure your needs are met first so that you can be at your best for those around you. It's okay to take the time to put yourself first, and it may actually be a good thing in the end.
When we come from a place of love and selflessness, we create a better world for ourselves and those around us.
