Love, Loss, and Rollercoaster Rides

I want closure but it will not happen for me the way I would like. Isaac Asimov wrote, “They won't listen. Do you know why? Because they have certain fixed notions about the past. Any change would be blasphemy in their eyes, even if it were the truth. They don't want the truth; they want their traditions.” It's disheartening to accept that there is no closure in some relationships, but I have come to the realization that not all stories have a happy ending. In any case, it's better to move on than hold on, its wise to start anew with hope for something better.

Relationships are a carnival, we all clowns and the rollercoaster is love, its a carnival where not every ride ends with a smile and laughter. Sometimes, the ride stops midway, leaving us hanging, teetering between the past and the future. Isaac Asimov did warn us, didn't he? We humans adore our comfort blankets of traditions and familiar narratives, and how dare you snatch them away! This missive (a Chrismissive) is your guide to navigating the tricky waters of unrequited closures, following Asimov's breadcrumbs.

After a love story turns sour, our hearts don't just crave ice-cream and sad songs, but also some good old closure. We yearn for that full stop at the end of a painful sentence. But here's the news flash - you might not always get it. Asimov was right on point when he hinted that humans often would rather wear rose-colored glasses than face the raw truth. Hence, closure becomes a Bigfoot - heard of, but rarely seen.

Sometimes, closure can turn into an obsessive treasure hunt that leads to a dead end. We convince ourselves that one more conversation or one real reason would be our ticket to peace. But surprise, surprise! Closure isn't always wrapped in a neat little package, with a bow on top. It's accepting that the past is past, and some questions are better left unanswered.

The key to finding closure isn't waiting for an apology from your ex or a revelation from the universe. It's about turning the gaze inward and healing your own heart. Forget the external noise and listen to your inner voice. Closure is not a place you arrive at; it's a journey you undertake from within, its like walking through the haunted house , its a slow-paced process with no shortcuts and a lot of scary shit around each corner.

So if you're staring at the ceiling at night in search of some peace of mind, take it from me - closure needs to come from within. It will not always look like what you expect, but it's essential to open that door be prepared for what might be hiding behind it and let yourself out.

Although your ex might not hand you the closure you crave, you can gift it to yourself through self-reflection. Analyzing your actions, emotions, and the relationship itself can guide you to a deeper understanding of yourself. You'll be surprised at how therapeutic it can be to create closure out of your own resilience and wisdom. I've been in therapy dealing with the traumatic end of a relationship, I'm coming to terms with not all abuse is physical and not all closure needs to be had . That in itself is a form of closure.

Life, much like your favorite ride at a carnival, might make you puke your cotton candy out. But it's how you clean yourself up and dust off the corn dog that will determine your journey forward to the next carnival. So, closure is a personal thing, and if you take the time to create it for yourself , you will find the peace and understanding you long for.

In the world of love-gone-wrong, closure might not always knock on your door. Perhaps, Asimov's words were a hint that people are sometimes too attached to their past perceptions to embrace the truth. But closure isn't always a group project; it can be a solo mission, too. It comes from within as you release expectations, celebrate ambiguity, and prioritize self-reflection. Remember, you own the pen that writes your life's story. It might have a few smudged pages, but the story is still beautiful, and the best chapters are yet to be written.

So buckle up clowns, the ride is about to start again. No matter how elusive closure may seem, remember that hope and growth are your loyal sidekicks on this journey. While closure may be a luxury, resilience is a necessity