Survival Conundrum:
Is saying you are in survival mode an excuse for bad behavior? No? Maybe? Yes? It can be a warning of the dangers we face. When we are in survival mode, we tend to prioritize immediate rewards over long-term goals, which leads to more frequent mistakes. It's easy to get overwhelmed and end up making decisions that have life altering negative consequences.
So, what does living in "survival mode" even mean? Is it a real thing? Yes, it is - we've all been there at some point in our lives. Living in "survival mode" typically refers to a state of heightened stress, where an individual's primary focus is on meeting their basic needs and overcoming immediate challenges or threats. It often occurs in situations where resources are scarce, such as during times of financial hardship, relationship conflict, or other significant life stressors. Living in survival mode can be dangerous because not only do you tend to make more mistakes when running on that level, but you also do not set up patterns that will help you move forward and improve your life. Survival mode means you are living like a hamster in a wheel, constantly running but not really getting anywhere. Sure, you might make some progress here and there, but chances are you're going to make more mistakes in the process. After all, when we're stuck in survival mode, our focus is solely on making it through one day at a time instead of creating sustainable behaviors for success. So, when you find yourself slipping into that “just get through it” mindset – step back and remember that true success comes from creating positive behaviors that will take you further than just surviving one day at a time!
I lived in survival mode for a few years, 2018-2022, and let me tell you – it was no picnic! Not only did I make more mistakes than usual, but I also found myself struggling to get out of self-defeating behaviors and I could barely meet my immediate needs. Those years could have been so much more rewarding if I had taken the time to create healthy behaviors for success, instead, I made mistakes, and holy shit they were big mistakes, but they didn't have to be, but they were. I made more mistakes than I would normally make. I was constantly on edge, not quite sure what was coming next or how to manage it. It was like a game of chance—I rolled the dice every day and hoped that things didn't fall apart! But the thing is, when I was living life in this way, I didn't get to learn from my mistakes and didn't give myself chances to make positive changes. I was stuck in a cycle of chaos, doing the same things over and over again until something finally broke. It's not a pattern, it was a conundrum that kept repeating itself.
A conundrum is a difficult problem with no perceived clear solution. Living in survival mode is like being stuck in an endless loop of conundrums, I was not able to solve them and move forward. So, for me to make positive changes in my life, it was important to get out of the survival mode mentality and take proactive steps towards creating healthy habits for success. I had to take planned risks, and gather resources, I had to pause, reflect and have some time to learn from my mistakes and figure out how to fix them one by one. I’m still fixing my mistakes, some of them are expensive, some of them are taking far more time than expected and some are far more complicated by international borders.
So, context is very important because it gives the background information and understanding needed to interpret and make sense of a situation, statements, and behaviors. When context is ignored or omitted, information will be interpreted wrongly or misunderstood, which can cause confusion and incorrect conclusions.
I had divorced my partner of 15 years and started a new business on my own that was offering limited success at the time, I was in a new relationship, the planet had a global pandemic that had caused a huge economic upheaval globally and decimated my industry, I blew through all my savings in NYC, and like millions of others I felt the effects of this on my business and I did not have the resources to address and remedy it immediately or effectively. It took some time, but eventually, I started to make progress, but it was so slow, and it was inconsistent and unreliable. I was not able to stop living in survival mode, and as a partner I was unstable, unreliable, and lacked financial resources, and the ability to correct my course was limited by a US Investor VISA I held at the time. I tried so hard to create strategies by taking planned risks and learning from my mistakes, and I started gathering resources, but it was slow, too slow. I was not a good partner, I could not take care of myself finically, the resentments built up to contempt and the relationship ended after I was denied entry to the US after a trio to Mexico for my birthday. How? I neglected to apply for an i95 waiver during Covid, it was my own undoing.
Eventually, I was able to put together a plan that allowed me to break out of survival mode and build a more stable life. It wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t fast, but it was worth it. Now, instead of constantly living in fear and chaos, I can focus on long-term goals and make decisions with confidence. It was stressful and emotionally draining, but I was determined to make the change and that is what enabled me to do it. Hey, things started looking good, life was getting better, and I have some resources, and some stability, so why not add to the mix and throw in two near-fatal strokes? It knocked me down but not out, I did not surrender to living in survival mode again. I used my past experiences as a guide and made positive changes, which enabled me to get back up on my now wobbly feet and move forward with life.
It's easy for others to point their finger and accuse you of a pattern of bad behaviors, but when you are in survival mode, it is much more difficult to get out of it and make lasting changes that are for the betterment of yourself. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't break free from the cycle, because, with a lot of effort and dedication, it is possible. Change is hard, but it isn't impossible. It takes courage, resilience, and determination to break the cycle of chaos and take control of your life.
So, if you want to get out of survival mode, the bottom line is it's going to be hard, and it will take some time, but with determination and the right approach, you can do it. You have the power to transform your life for the better—it's up to you to make that happen. Take a risk, learn from your mistakes, be proactive in developing healthy habits, and don’t give up!
It won't be easy, but anything worth doing is going to require effort. Understand there is a vast difference between someone making mistakes and someone with a pattern of bad behavior. The mistakes that are made can be huge and have devastating impacts on you and others. Mistakes are valuable learning opportunities, while patterns are habits and habits can be broken.
