Finding Comfort in Horror, Hilarity, and Hooves

People, it's time to delve into the realm of self-soothing, a topic as convoluted and mysterious as my sister Kirsten and I's childhood obsession with horror films. If you ever find yourself wondering why some of us derive immense joy from being scared out of our wits or snickering at a gym bro getting disemboweled, you've come to the right place. As it turns out, there's a curious relationship between the love of macabre movies, inappropriate comedies, and believe it or not, horses.

Well, you see, it's like this - macabre movies are like that rollercoaster ride through the catacombs of your imagination, where you scream, and laugh, and occasionally regret eating that extra-large tub of buttered popcorn. Absurd comedies, they're like the class clown at the absurdity party, reminding us that sometimes the best way to tackle taboos is with a hearty guffaw and an eyeroll. Now, horses, they're the Zen experts in this peculiar trio. They're the ones who say, "Take off that clown wig, drop the chainsaw, put down that popcorn, and let's go for a ride through the calm pastures of your soul." And do you know what? It works. So, it might sound as odd as a unicorn in a speedo, but these seemingly unrelated passions? They're the secret recipe for the delightful chaos that is the human experience.

Now, my sister Kirsten and I had an uncanny affinity for horror flicks as children along with our partner in horror and co-conspirator, Aunt Wendy. We'd sit on our old, creaky couch in the basement or in Wendys living room in complete darkness, clutching popcorn like it was the antidote to our terror. Nothing gave us greater delight than witnessing the prom princess having a bucket of blood dropped on her perfectly coiffed head or watching teens have their dreams invaded by malevolent forces. A bonding experience, you’d say. Well, it was indeed, for nothing strengthens familial bonds like jump scares, shared screams, and gallons of blood.

But the fun didn't stop at horror movies. We were weaned on age-inappropriate comedies, courtesy of the legendary Mel Brooks. Think” History of the World” "Blazing Saddles," "Young Frankenstein," and "The Producers." We laughed until our stomachs hurt, and tears streamed down our faces, we would watch them over an over till we knew every line, thoroughly desensitizing us to political correctness in the process. To this day, my inability to suppress laughter at the most inopportune moments is a testament to Mel's influence on my humor.

In addition to our cinematic escapades, Kirsten and I had a knack for exploring hobbies on opposite ends of the spectrum. On the one hand, we'd curl up on the couch with a tub of ice cream, churning through those horror marathons with Elvira or Vincent Price. On the other hand, we'd saddle up and hit the stables for some quality horseback riding. Quite the spread of activities, wouldn't you agree? After all, what's childhood without a little equine elegance thrown into the mix?

As an adult, I've come to realize that self-soothing is an art form. When anxiety creeps in, I forget that I still find solace in my beloved horror films and the wonderful comedies of Mel Brooks. There's something strangely comforting about fictional horrors that distracts me from the real ones lurking in the shadows. I mean, who needs to worry about bills when you're too busy wondering if the ghostly figure in the attic is real or a figment of your imagination?

Yet, among all these guilty pleasures, there's one thing that I miss most - riding horses. There's a unique connection, an unspoken language shared between rider and steed. It's an indescribable sense of peace that envelops you as you gallop through meadows or even saunter along a tranquil trail. Horses are, in a way, like therapists on four legs. They listen without judgment and offer a sense of serenity that's challenging to articulate.

Riding horses, my friends, is like a one-way ticket to the green garden of the mind. It's a peculiar magic, a bit like trying to put a saddle on a sunbeam. Once you mount, the world narrows down to the rhythmic cadence of hooves against the ground, everything else takes a back seat. The bills, the deadlines, the neighbor's dog that won't stop barking - they all fade into the horizon, replaced by the swaying mane and the soft nickers of your trusty four-legged therapist. Horses have a knack for making you be here now, like a spiritual guru in leather. They force you, albeit willingly, to be present and engaged and calm, as if you've suddenly discovered the universe resides in the sound of hoofbeats and the scent of saddle leather. So, while the rest of the world rushes on like a caffeinated squirrel, horse enthusiasts get to enjoy the slow and steady gallop to inner peace. It's a bit like a spa day for the soul, minus the lavender-scented towels and whale music.

Now, more than ever, I've stumbled upon the golden ticket to fulfill that horror film requirement with someone I really, truly like. It's like discovering a hidden treasure chest of jump scares and gore, with the added bonus of having a kindred ghoul in the adventure. It's almost gruesomely romantic in a spine-tingling sort of way. Picture this: you're snuggled up on the couch, clutching your popcorn with one hand and their hand with the other, as you both dive headfirst into a world of cinematic terror. The screams and laughter mix into a peculiar symphony of shared emotions, and before you know it, you're tangled up in a mess of blankets, frantically debating whether you'd survive a zombie apocalypse or whether you’d investigate that weird sound in the attic. It's a surefire way to test the compatibility of your heart rates and scream pitches. So, in these chaotic times, finding that unique someone who not only tolerates but wholeheartedly embraces your peculiar obsession with horror is a rare bond, like a vampire's love for moonlit nights. But the haunting calls and whinnies in the stables still tug at my heartstrings. As we navigate the rollercoaster of adulthood, we find comfort in unexpected places. For me, that means revisiting the thrills of my childhood of being scared out of my wits, chuckling at the absurdity of dark comedies, and yearning for the peace only a horse can bring.

So, whether your idea of self-soothing involves the sinister flickers on a screen or the rhythmic clop of hooves on a quiet trail, remember that it's all about finding your own peculiar brand of comfort. After all, life is too short to be terrorized by anxiety when you can be terrified by the latest horror masterpiece. Just don't forget to keep a stable relationship with your inner child, and perhaps even a real horse, to keep life in balance.