homesick with arachnids

I found a spider in my shower this evening. That, in and of itself isn't that remarkable. It was, of course, small, dark, and harmless, but it reminded me of where I used to call home. I at once became homesick. Homesickness is a funny thing - you can be surrounded by familiarity, luxury, and family and friends but still feel a pull from your past. It's like an invisible tether that wraps around the heart and yanks it in the direction of home. I suppose for me, it'll always be there no matter how far away I travel or how different my day-to-day life becomes. Homesickness is a reminder of who we are and where we come from, at least until things start to feel right again.

So, I looked at this spider, smiled to myself, and thought: "Ahh homesickness -- you never really go away." I then went ahead to have my shower. He didn't seem too displeased. Homesickness isn't something that goes away in a day or even a week and it can show itself in some of the strangest places. Suddenly, something so small and seemingly insignificant can remind us that even though we may be far away, we still carry a piece of home with us wherever we go.

Remember: Home isn't a place but rather a feeling that follows. So, I was lucky enough tonight to find a spider , and in my case, the little guy reminded me of home and all the people I loved and I left behind when I unexpectedly moved back here. And although it's not quite the same as being surrounded by loved ones, it was comforting to know he was there. You see, when I wasn't in NYC, I lived in the country, in the middle of the woods, up a small mountain in the Hudson Valley of NY. It had lots of critters, but even more spiders. Regrettably, we used to kill them on sight, but after a while, that option felt gratuitous and cruel, so eventually, we just let them live with us, we shared the space with them, I even named a few of them. Although if truth be told, if they got a bit too close we would gingerly escort them to the window and let them out. But the sight of it in the shower made me homesick in an instant.

I guess part of being homesick is learning the things you used to take for granted. To me, it’s the spider that brought forth this realization. My eight-legged friends from upstate New York - with their unexpected appearances and surprising resilience - remind me of being at home and all that means to me. That spider helped remind me of happier times, moments with family and friends laughing around the dining room table or the woodstove on a cold winter night; or going out in the rain to explore the surroundings or walking face first into a spider dangling in front of the bathroom sink. It may sound silly but tonight that little critter provided a comfort that couldn't be found anywhere else.

So, if you're feeling homesick right now, try to remember it's okay to feel this way. It doesn't mean you don't love where you are or who you're with. Instead, it simply means that being away from home is hard and your heart needs time to adjust. Even though I'd give anything for a glimpse of my home away from home, it was nice to see the spider in the shower. It was like a little reminder that although I am far from what was once my home, the world is still full of small wonders and miracles. I just have to take notice.

So, here's to the spider in my shower and the chance to remember all that I miss. I'm grateful for the reminder it brought me. Cheers!